The car lolled forward on the road. Call it whatever you want, but i was trying to maximize my time with her. I was probably driving even slower, than when i was coming to her apartments. I was slightly losing touch with my surroundings. Even in slow motion everything seemed to blur slightly around the edges. Could she really have such power over me....? To cause my world itself to slowly fade away...? Maybe it was because i had never been with someone before... Maybe it was because i had prayed for the chance to do this very thing... To be in the presence of someone who, (to my perception), loved me as passionately, undeniably and unequivocally as I loved her... For there to be, "someone who completes me". Or maybe... It was simply because i was a "background" person in life. The "extra" in my own production of "Life"... An emotional and masochistic low-life. Maybe i was just having a terribly hard time accepting the reality of what my life was now. That i was in Love... That I... was Loved... Or maybe i'm just messed-up in the head, and am taking normal things to titanic heights. Alas, I'll never know why i felt so, or what i did... But it was the best night... No.. The best experience... NO...! The best thing that ever happened to my life...
The radio-clock displayed 4:45am, and i was still far from my intended destination. I shut out all my thoughts and queries, and forced down on the accelerator. I was running against time to achieve tonight's mission, and i needed every fiber of my mind and body to keep on track. I could feel her body-heat slowly spreading on my left side. It was like an unfair tease... I craved to stop the car right there and take her in my arms… Just to hold her.. To bask in the enlightenment that she existed and wanted to be claimed as mine. But i ignored this thirst... It could wait. I decided i needed a distraction, and immediately turned on the radio. 1973 by James Blunt starts to play... A favorite of ours... Oh Lord... Am i truly this blessed...? I look towards her, and see a smile of complete understanding spread across her face. She reaches over and grasps the hand i had placed over the gear-shift. She squeezes it lightly and says "I Love you"... Her voice is slightly strained. Out of alarm, I look over properly and see that her eyes are drooping... "I love you more"... i said, "Why don't you rest.. I'll wake you up when we're there... It's a bit of a drive"... She nodded and laid her head back on the seat... Her eyes close, and peace stretches over her features... How long since she's slept properly...? Has she been taking care of her sister's child every night? Overworked in university, and under-appreciated at home... Has she been getting time for herself...? Or just been saying so to me...? Ah.... I am a problem for her... Sleep is a much better alternative than an evening, (well.. early morning), trip with me. I would turn back and see her safely to her bed. But even she had to make preparations for tonight. So I abandon my idea and drive on... Tonight can't go to waste.
No comments:
Post a Comment